Worst playground ever.
what the actual FUCK
the new human centipede looks weird
i have questions
John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
being a human is so weird
This feels so good to my brain
As soon as you turn the lights off start masturbating. No monster wants to see that shit. While doing it, stare at the corner and whisper, tenderly, “this is for you”.
And then the shadows growl at you and say, “Mine. You’re all mine.”
Proceed to have a secret relationship with the monster in your closet to make the shadows jealous.
Plot Twist: The Monster wants a threesome with you and the shadows.
This is all me.
I am Lokitty, of Catgard, and I am burdened with glorious purrrpose.
This windowsill pleases me.
YOU GIVE UP THIS CATNIP DREAM! YOU COME HOME!
AND HE NEVER KNEW THAT HE WAS ADOPTED?!
I DO WHAT I WANT, THORGI!
i dont need a boyfriend i need 12 million dollars and a donut
12 million dollars can be used to obtain many donuts.
money can be exchanged for goods and services
It’s the way she casually picks up her heels after beating the shit out of everyone in the room.
I can never not reblog this scene. It’s my favourite thing.
Sometimes I forget how old Buffy is and then I see a laptop.
Admittedly, this episode aired close to twenty years ago (which doesn’t make me feel old at all, shut up), but even at the time, everyone watching it was going, “Where the hell did he dig that old relic up?” because Season 1 aired in 1996 and that computer was already about ten years old. (My best guess, based on some quick research, is that it was made around 1987 at the latest.) Laptops had already had full-sized screens for a while in the mid-nineties, kids, this was just a baffling piece of prop selection.
someone just left the dorm complex and she was wearing a shirt that said “I’m a thespian. my parents think it’s a stage.” and I swear I laughed for three minutes without stopping to breathe
HOW DID I SCROLL PAST THIS WITHOUT GIVING IT A CHANCE
With this gif, we shall achieve world peace.
What are your top beauty tips?
Start out perfect and don’t change a thing. Always accentuate your best features by pointing at them. And conceal your flaws by sucker punching anyone who has the audacity to mention them.
Never too old to learn from the Muppets.
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.” - Miss Piggy